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Joke of the Day

"Q: When Do You Hurt a Midget? When He is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice!"

"I just had the thought ""pfft. Your father can't die before you are born,"" and I believed it for a full minute. Because I'm smert."

"What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? Close the door."

"What would you call Neil Armstrong had he burnt up in the atmosphere returning to earth instead of landing safely? An unfortu-naut... God that was horrible...."

"Dumbo is an unusual nickname for an Elephant But I guess naming my son Elephant wasn't very conventional either"

"I found out why I'm still single. Apparently, you have to go outside and let people see you."

"What is ISIS's favorite type of text? Is the answer: A: Heading B: Heading C: Heading"

"What did the Headless Horseman ask his colleague at Bad Guys Inc.? What do I have to do to get ahead around here?"

"""Mom, I'm an adult. There's nothing left for you to show me."" (*folds a fitted sheet*) ""TEACH ME YOUR SORCERY, LINEN WIZARD"""

"Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs? So nobody confuses them with feminists"