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Joke of the Day

"[rookie undercover] *walks up to dealer* ""yo you a cop"" um no ""hmm ok what you want"" EIGHT COCAINES PLEASE *gives thumbs up to chief in car*"

"I'm drowning my self in coke right now. Not the drug. The drink. Nah jk it's the drug."

"What kind of girl does a hamburger like? Any girl named Patty!"

"Sex therapists have invented a new long lasting, alcohol based, vaginal gel and lubricant. Campaigners have slammed the move saying it could lead to 24 hour minge drinking."

"So I took some acid and ate an entire box of Fiber bars. I've been seeing shit for days."

"I don't mind when people make kitchen jokes about women, but when they make jokes about women driving... Well that's when I run you over"

"A Texas woman found a snake head in a bag of green beans. Meaning someone will be finding a bean in their bag of snake heads."

"What's brown and rhymes with Snoop Dogg? Dr. Dre"

"How many redditors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5/7"

"How to write Icelandic: 1) Put a dictionary in a blender 2) Blend 3) Pour onto table. 4) Voila!"