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Joke of the Day

"I'm at my most Disney Princess when I fight with my stepfamily before drunkenly losing my shoe at a party."

"What happens if a pyramid commits a crime? It is put in imPRISMment!"

"I got a girl pregnant in high school. Her son grew to be 6 foot 7 (200 cm). Biggest mistake I ever made."

"Did you hear about the blind circumciser? He got the sac"

"""What rhymes with California?"" -Every Red Hot Chili Peppers song writing session ever"

"I don't want to hear about any moonlit romantic walks on the beach...unless there's a clown with a wooden club chasing you."

"Star Wars Joke. How many stormtroopers does it take to change a glowpanel? 2. One to change it, and another to shoot him and take the credit."

"How did AL Gore program his computer? With the proper al-gor-ithms"

"Science! A scientist is asked: ""So, how exactly do you make a hormone?"" His response: ""Kick her in the cunt!"""

"My wife is a psycho, this tweet isn't a joke its a cry for help."