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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? pick it up and suck his dick"

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"Where do muslims go when they die? Everywhere."
"What happens when your favorite team wins the World Cup? You turn off your playstation."
"Whats Dj Khaleds Favourite Jetski Brand? Kawasakey"
"Divorce I consider myself pretty lucky in my divorce because we negotiated a 50-50 split of our assets. My wife got half, my lawyer got half."
"I put coffee in my aquarium filter. The water wasn't any cleaner, but the fish swam REALLY FAST."
"Replace his deodorant with a glue stick so he thinks of you every time he tries to raise his arm to put around the shoulders of another girl"
"Oh no, my overly-festive neighbours are at the door.. *ding dong* ""Mary, Leon.. hi!"""
"How do You find the worst joke of the internet? You reddit."
"Vasaline is the key to having sex with your spouse after having children... *Just stick that stuff on the outside of the doorknob and the kids can't turn the knob to get in."