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Joke of the Day

"Oh no, my overly-festive neighbours are at the door.. *ding dong* ""Mary, Leon.. hi!"""

"Why did the USAS with frag rounds fall over? Because it was... imbalanced."

"I fell in love at first sight. I should have looked twice."

"I read that having sex every day for a year could transform your marriage. It worked so well I'm thinking of suggesting it to my wife."

"Switzerland on Austrians: ""Why is the Austrian flag red-white-red'?"" ""So that they can't raise it upside-down"""

"So the American people's choices for President of the United States will most likely be Donald Trump or Hilary Clinton. That's it. That's the joke. There is no punchline."

"What do you call 2 guys hanging on the wall around a window? Kurt and Rod."

"What do you get if you cross an owl with a witch? A bird that's ugly but doesn't give a hoot!"

"I walked in on two mummies making out. I told them to get a tomb."

"My co worker just asked if I could help file some documents. I said I was working on a huge project while she watched me play solitaire."