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Joke of the Day

"The wife told me she's sick of me pushing her around and talking behind her back. I said ""Well you are in a wheelchair"""

Next Joke
 
"Girl said that she would do anything for 5$ guess who just got their car washed."
"You get what you get and you don't get upset... You have cancer."
"A joke my 4 year old came up with today... Him: ""What's the only mammal that can breathe under water?"" Me: ""I dunno, what?"" Him (loudly): ""An elephant sticking his trunk up!"""
"People with scoliosis are the same as you or I... But with a twist. I'll see myself out."
"eer booze and fun!' 'An Indian a Rabbi the Pope an Italian and an Irishman all walk into a bar together and sit down. The bartender looks at all 5 of them and says ""What is this... some kind of joke?"""
"What does a Necrophiliac have when he is turned on? Mourning Wood"
"Q: What do you get when you cross a matzo ball with LSD? A: A trip to Israel."
"Having a girlfriend is like having a car... ... I don't have a car :'(."
"Why don't anteaters ever get sick? Because they are full of antibodies!"