131855

Joke of the Day

"eer booze and fun!' 'An Indian a Rabbi the Pope an Italian and an Irishman all walk into a bar together and sit down. The bartender looks at all 5 of them and says ""What is this... some kind of joke?"""

"[speed dating] I enjoy gardening. I've got a bit of a green thumb. Actually several of my fingers are discolored. I think I have diabetes."

"My niece said she COLORED a picture for me. Uh you mean you Africian Americaned a picture? Geez Confederate General, when's the klan rally?"

"If these walls could talk I'd fuckin' move out immediately."

"""Hey Al, I heard you're constipated."" ""No shit."""

"Watch closely as the husband quietly approaches the calm children, riles them up into a frenzy, then slyly escapes to watch football."

"My friend David had his ID stolen So now I just call him Dav."

"*slides into home plate and crowd goes wild* Hey everybody, be quiet for a minute! *pulls out phone, dials number* Hi mom, I got home safe."

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snake about to shed it's skin Why don't you go behind the screen and slip into something more comfortable then !"

"What's the difference between a very old shaggy Yeti and a dead bee? One's a seedy beast and the other's a deceased bee."