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Joke of the Day

"Whats the worse part of being a pedophile? Trying to fit in."

"People are asking if capes are welcome at #ScienceMarch - yes - but please think of the aerodynamics if it happens to be windy!"

"A Jewish kid walks up to his grandfather.... A jewish kid walks up to his grandfather and says ""Hey poppa, can I have 50 dollars?"" And the grandfather responds ""40 dollars? I don't have 30 dollars."""

"I sing like an amputee. Because I can't hold a note, can't carry a tune.."

"I needed a password at least eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs..."

"Explained to my client that he shouldn't put ""urgent"" in the subject line of every email he sends. He now sends some as ""urgent urgent""."

"U know ur self esteem is low when a girl rejects you and u completely agree with them and support their decision."

"The only way I'm coming to your wedding is if YOU get ME a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do."

"The government should pay for everyone to get massages on November 9th."

"Yo mama is so hairy that Bigfoot tried to take her picture!"