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Joke of the Day

"[at bank] *slides teller a note* Teller: Me: T: M: [winks] T: Seriously!? M: uh huh T: M: T: *slides me a lollipop*"

"I DIDN'T SAFELY EJECT MY FLASH DRIVE AND NOW MY DOG IS DEAD"

"Left in the Dark Recently the power in my flat went out for no apparent reason. I told the landlord the problem but they didn't get back to me. They left me in the dark for about a week."

"Everyone's always talking about our forefathers... I'm pretty sure there were more than that."

"What do a crematorium and an auditorium have in common? It's apparently frowned upon to jerk off in either."

"The closest I've come to being an athlete is using Adobe Acrobat."

"""I need to do extensive reading on this complex subject before I give an educated opinion."" -- Web comment that has never been made"

"Women are like computers -- even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval."

"Three crows walk into a bar HL3 confirmed."

"This morning I made the strongest coffee ever. It's so black a cop kicked in my door and shot it."