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Joke of the Day

"I used to date a girl that liked it in the ear. Every time I tried to put it in her mouth she turned her head."

Next Joke
 
"Mantra at the gym: When the zombies come, cardio will matter."
"What's the difference between spit and swallow? A firm grip on the back of her head."
"Me: Baby I know you had a long day so I drew you a bath Her: Ah I can't wait to take it *hands her paper* Me: I used your eyeliner pencil"
"Yo mama so fat, the sorting hat put her in all four houses."
"What's red and bad for your teeth? ...A brick"
"*arouses suspicion* Suspicion: I have a boyfriend. But c'mere."
"Join the Army, meet interesting people, and kill them."
"What does the Rose iphone 7 and the Titanic have in common? They both lost Jack."
"Why is my girlfriend like a deep fat fryer? They're both dangerously hot and belong in the kitchen."
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