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Joke of the Day

"I like how when you pull down on a paper towel dispenser you either get half a paper towel or half the roll."

"What do you call a sudden breeze at The Masters? Augusta wind."

"When I'm bored late at night, I text random numbers saying: ""You should really clean under your bed, it's filthy down here. PS: I love you."""

"They say two heads are better than one But sometimes I just don't need that much lettuce."

"Cops have a new radar that lets them see through walls into our homes but imagine if this technology fell into the wrong hands! Oh wait..."

"""IS ANYONE HERE A DOCTOR?!?"" I screamed on the plane. 3 men shot up. ""Ok, now are any of you single? I need a sugar daddy. I do butt stuff."""

"What do you call Dracula when he goes swimming? Aqua-Vlad"

"American Pharroah walks into a bar... The bartender says "" i'm not even going to ask..."""

"Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Easy question. Egg because they are white."

"Welcome to Facebook. Please choose your category: Comedian, Philosopher, Protester, or Drama Queen."