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Joke of the Day

"""IS ANYONE HERE A DOCTOR?!?"" I screamed on the plane. 3 men shot up. ""Ok, now are any of you single? I need a sugar daddy. I do butt stuff."""

"At least I've never taken a picture with an iPad."

"""Nice"" - first kangaroo to realise it had a pocket"

"Why does Manny Pacquiao hate Spring so much? Because of May weather."

"Help she is suffering from anal seizures? No she is just twerking."

"What's the difference between a drunk and a stoner? A drunk drives right through a stop sign, a stoner waits for it to turn green."

"Why did the local university invite a foreign chemist? Florine talent."

"While having an all-out war with underwater warships, I accidentally hit one of my teammates. Oops wrong sub."

"Why do chickens sit on eggs? Because they don't have any chairs. Source: my five-year-old."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bush ! Bush who ? Bush your money where your mouth is !"