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Joke of the Day

"According to my iPhone 6, I could commit a heinous crime, without using gloves, and have a different fingerprint just minutes later"

"Gravity makes a terrible friend. It's always holding you down."

"What's the difference between snow tires and black people? The snow tires still work when you take the chains off."

"Nicki Minaj knows we can see her, right?"

"How do you get Dick from Richard? You ask nicely."

"My walk of shame is when i'm going home from an Adam Sandler movie."

"What breaks every time you give it to a toddler? Their pelvis."

"Unless you have stellar reflexes, throwing a bouncy ball at your spouse during an argument is not the best choice."

"How can you tell if someone is a chemistry major? They have a mole on their body."

"What do you get when you put a dinosaur and a bomb together? Dinomite!!!!! *budum tssst*"