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Joke of the Day

"coworker asked me if I needed a hug and now he doesn't work here because people that are on fire can't work."

"What do nuns do when they're horny? They cum to Jesus."

"You're so fat... you had a threesome with Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Buttersworth."

"If my doctor ever tells me I have three months to live, I'll probably pick December, January and July."

"Dog ate raw chicken so I called the vet to see what I could do He asked what I think they eat in the wild. Basically, he called me an idiot"

"What's brown and hides in the attic? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank"

"911: what's your emergency? me: I taught my Dad how to text 911: the problem ma'am? me: he CALLS to say ""yeah, got ur text"""

"Two antennas get married... The ceremony was ok, But the reception was great!"

"What's the difference between shame and pride? It depends on where I draw the line."

"I'll never forget what my grandfather told me before he kicked the bucket. He said, ""Son ... How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""