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Joke of the Day

"911: what's your emergency? me: I taught my Dad how to text 911: the problem ma'am? me: he CALLS to say ""yeah, got ur text"""

"Why is a train like a stick of gum? One goes choo-choo; the other goes chew-chew."

"Once Chuck Noris .... Once Chuck Noris had sex in a pick up truck ... today the truck is known as Optimus Prime."

"An even cornier joke One stalk of corn said to the other stalk of corn, ""Hey, can I tell you something?"" The other stalk of corn said, ""I'm all ears."""

"What are the 3 rules to buying real estate, the difference between jock itch and athlete's foot, and breastfeeding and a glass of milk? Location, location, location."

"The Declaration of Independence was NOT written in Philadelphia. it was written in ink"

"What do you call someone who is racist against Asians? Riceist."

"A Dirty Limerick (NSFW) There once was a girl named Betty, That said that she loved confetti, So I shot my man-goo, Through a fan where it blew, And sprayed her white as a yeti"

"Money was so tight last Xmas I had to sell a kidney for gifts. And this year it's getting so bad, I may even have to sell one of my own."

"Avoid confrontations in the work place by slashing your coworker's tires while they sleep."