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Joke of the Day

"911: what's your emergency? me: I taught my Dad how to text 911: the problem ma'am? me: he CALLS to say ""yeah, got ur text"""

"I walked into a room full of men masturbating They all looked shocked when I didn't stop"

"I told him I like a big vocabulary and now he won't stop using 72pt font."

"more like Clifford the Big Red Reason we are Homeless"

"We're in the exact point of climate change as when wile e. coyote runs off the cliff but hasn't looked down yet"

"If there's a ""Mr."" in front of your cat's name you're going to die alone."

"The bartender says ""Sorry, we don't make that here."" Quentin Tarantino walks into a bar. He gets up and leaves. He takes a seat and orders a Polynesian Pearl Diver."

"How do people usually feel after touching an electric fence? Shocked."

"How many suh dudes does it take to fix a light bulb? It's already lit fam"

"if someone asks you about yourself say ""OK, sit down, this is going to be a really long story"" then just wander off"