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Joke of the Day

"*calls you by wrong name in bed, blames autocorrect*"

"Gravity is a harsh mistress... *... but she has reasonable rates!*"

"What does Michael Jackson have in common with a second place racehorse? They both came in a little behind."

"Resumes are the most popular form of historical fiction."

"An Irishman walks out of a bar... hey, it could happen!"

"I was researching converting to Mormonism until I found out you have to give them 10% of your income I guess I'm Jewish."

"A little boy came running into the kitchen. 'Dad dad' he said 'there's a monster at the door with a really ugly face' 'Tell him you've already got one' said his father !"

"Why is the alcoholic law student sad? Because he couldn't pass the bar."

"If Coca-Cola REALLY cared about the obesity problem they'd put cocaine back in their recipe."

"I get caught zipping my pants up while standing beside the turkey just one time, and suddenly she never needs help in the kitchen anymore"