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Joke of the Day

"Resumes are the most popular form of historical fiction."

"What are the level differences between nannies? Answer: the A level nannies suggest leafy vegetables... But the B nannies force kale."

"Adults with big round heads have kids with big round heads so for god sakes please try to date outside your head shape."

"Girl in front of me at the store this morning bought a Kool-Aid Burst and a big Slim Jim. Heroes walk amongst us, folks. Real life heroes."

"*Police arrested two kids* ** Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.**"

"My ex is looking for a job but I don't think satan is retiring anytime soon so I suppose she'll be unemployed for a while."

"My wife and I are doing role reversal to spice up our sex life... She's going to be the aggressor, and I'm going to lay there like a corpse."

"I figured out the solution to iceis We just kick them under the fridge."

"Please help reconstruct this joke ... The punchline is ""Well, there's cus-turd, and there's mus-turd, and there's you, ya big shit! Run, Myrtle, run!"""

"You know that pain which starts at your hip, runs down your leg, out the front door,and goes across the street to the bus stop... I've that."