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Joke of the Day

"What is the only bent straight line? Its one direction of course."

"it's cool when my one dog shits the other one has to go and inspect it like ""just as i suspected guys. it's shit."""

"If people smoke cigarettes, what do fish smoke? Seaweed"

"Q: What is the tallest building in the entire world? A: The library, because it has so many stories."

"I'd like to personally invite Conan to bring his entire show to Nebraska. We can work out details later."

"What do you get when you cross reddit and a weekend? No new messages."

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over Me: Idk, but could you move this along? I've had too much to drink and I really need to pee."

"If he says ""you're 1 in a million"" it means he either has no knowledge of the world population or he thinks there are 7000 people like you"

"This is a frightening statistic 25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness! That's scary! It means 75% are running around untreated!"

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing her seatbelt."