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Joke of the Day

"I'd like to personally invite Conan to bring his entire show to Nebraska. We can work out details later."

"Why does a mother carry her baby? The baby can't carry the mother."

"Why did the newspaper cross the street? To get to the other side of the story."

"What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? Hoblin Goblin."

"This guy in line at store had breath so bad his teeth turned sideways just to let it out."

"Sometimes I wonder how vegans can survive off what little they can eat and then I remember they just feed off attention."

"I'm a big fan of 50 cent Or as he's known in Zimbabwe, 10 billion dollars"

"My 5-year-old blames me when things go wrong and takes all the credit when they go right. She'll be a CEO someday."

"I don't like male pornstars They always are fucking assholes"

"If you don't get my Harry Potter references, there is something siriusly ron with you"