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Joke of the Day

"it's cool when my one dog shits the other one has to go and inspect it like ""just as i suspected guys. it's shit."""

"If kryptonite is Superman's only weakness, what is Supperman's only weakness? Leftovernite"

"[at the gym] Trainer: You want me to spot you, bro? Waldo: Please don't do that."

"Apparently the same firm rents buildings to both ISIS and Neo-Nazis. You could say they're the lessor of two evils."

"Is it wrong to hate a certain race? I'm ok with a 5km but really don't like 10km."

"captain: a lot of rumors floating around saying I sunk the ship sailor: [clinging to a piece of the hull] please stop calling us rumors sir"

"I would like to thank Tetris for providing me w/ the skills to jam as many dishes as possible in my dishwasher."

"Rhianna How does Rhianna look after a date with Chris Brown? White and gold."

"I recently came into a large sum of money Now all the bills are sticking together"

"Did you hear about the grizzly who didn't like his daughter wearing a crop top? He disapproved of her exposing her bear midriff."