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Joke of the Day

"Per Wikipedia, there are two kinds of scorpions. One can sting and kill you like a spider, the other can sing and rock you like a hurricane"

"What happened when five fat French men got in the lifeboat? Cinq."

"The ruling that legal papers can now be ""served"" on Facebook is ridiculous. Don't they know the people they're looking for are on twitter?"

"Why do 2 bit gamblers never win at blackjack ? Because they can only count to 3."

"My corner store failed because most people want more than just the corners of stuff."

"How does a chef get to work? He woks."

"What do you call a woman with two brain cells? Pregnant."

"What did the man who survived a javelin headwound say to his opponent? Thanks for opening my mind."

"The difference between a wife and a mistress? The mistress says ""Oh, darling - that was *wonderful*!"", and the wife says ""Beige. I think we'll paint the ceiling beige..."""

"Wanna know how easy it is to sleep with a fat chick? Piece of cake"