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Joke of the Day

"The difference between a wife and a mistress? The mistress says ""Oh, darling - that was *wonderful*!"", and the wife says ""Beige. I think we'll paint the ceiling beige..."""

"Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way"

"Until yesterday I thought Chatroulette was a French pastry. No wonder the bakery didn't have any."

"*lays in bed for 12 hours I guess I'll get up now *walks over to couch & lays down"

"yes lassie? ""bark"" Timmy's in the well and you pissed in my slippers and you told me about Timmy first so I wouldn't get mad ""bark"" smart"

"I used to be addicted to soap But I'm clean now."

"Did you hear about the Vietnam veteran who became a sewage worker? He's seen some shit."

"A cook's apprentice is throwing copious amounts of herbs into the dish When the cook walks in and says ""STOP WASTING MY THYME"""

"What's the best thing about being the 'third-wheel' for your friends in relationships? Nothing. It always fucking sucks."

"How do you find a black person? Guilty as charged."