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Joke of the Day

"What does a Chicago police officer and a professional skateboarder have in common? They both shred footage. (*be gentle, it's my first time.*)"

"A button on my car broke... Its a pressing matter."

"What did the dinosaur say after the car crash? I'msosaurus"

"Why is a banana peel on the sidewalk like music? Because if you don't C sharp you'll B flat."

"Guys can we please stop making jokes about obesity? They have enough on their plate already."

"""We're halfway there... wow-ohh!! Livin' on a vain hope to which the Universe is indifferent!"" - Athiest Bon Jovi"

"What is the difference between a Black Guy and an elevator ? One can raise a child"

"Gf: why have you been googling 'can you milk a hamster' Me: *wipes milk from mouth* it was for a tweet"

"Have you heard about the dating site for radical jihadists? It's called ""Our Timer"""

"If you get a new job before you quit your old one, it's considered responsible. But if you do that with your gf, it's called ""cheating."""