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Joke of the Day

"""We're halfway there... wow-ohh!! Livin' on a vain hope to which the Universe is indifferent!"" - Athiest Bon Jovi"

"Did you hear? They found a new use for sheep in texas. Wool."

"There are 10 types of people in the world Those who can read binary, and those who can't."

"Trump and Cruz are fighting over whose dick is bigger and whose spouse is a bigger whore. Two more contests Hillary will win."

"I bet the skeletons, in my gay coworker's closet, are having a dress up party with fabulous clothes."

"I thought about buying a pocket calculator and then I thought who care how many pockets I have"

"What did the priest say about consorting with the sisters of the church? Nun is better!"

"I bought a 32ft ruler. For extreme measures."

"16 sodium atoms walk into a bar followed by Batman."

"Boss: you spend a lot of time on your phone! Me: you spend too much time watching me. Don't you have work to do?"