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Joke of the Day

"Gf: why have you been googling 'can you milk a hamster' Me: *wipes milk from mouth* it was for a tweet"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Clare ! Clare who ? Clare your throat before you speak !"

"What's the difference between my daughter and my driveway? I don't want to plow my driveway"

"What caveman say when he get hurt? meow."

"The French Navy Q: Why does the new French navy have glass-bottomed boats? A: So they can see the old French navy."

"Did you hear about the doctor who killed anyone over 15 stone? He was a mass murderer."

"Does England have a Fourth of July? They do, they just don't celebrate it."

"I once had some food cooked for me by a prostitute... ...it was a nice ho-made meal."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? (snicker) *You don't know?*"

"What's the difference between a stripclub and a circus? One has cunning stunts and the other has stunning cunts."