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Joke of the Day

"Russian skater just explained that he is ""not a robot,"" proving, of course, that he is a robot. #Olympics"

"Haters are like crickets You can't see them but you can hear them, and when you walk by them they are quiet."

"Marijuana doesn't kill your brain cells. You're just an idiot."

"What do you call an octopus that fights sharks? An octobrave. I'm sorry."

"If you piss me off in the grocery store I will get in front of you in the checkout line and pay for a single tomato with a personal check."

"Coworker: What book you reading there? Me: 'How To Kidnap A Coworker' CW:... Me: Not you, Karen. A pretty one."

"Why is the British weather like Islam? Because it's either Sunni or Shi'ite"

"main difference between /news/ mods and north korea? one side executes people for no reasons and puts people in detentions camps, the other one is a country."

"If you could choose between 1 billion dollars and world peace... What would the color of your new Lamborghini be?"

"A hard thing about a business is minding your own."