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Joke of the Day

"If you could choose between 1 billion dollars and world peace... What would the color of your new Lamborghini be?"

"Mom: So, do you have someone special in your life? Me: Define ""someone"" Mom: You know, a boyfriend. Me: Define ""boyfriend"""

"Am I too fat? Wife: I too fat to be a personal trainer? Me: No honey you just need to lose weight."

"I don't like the Powerballs....only one person ever wins, is what I told my dad after he asked whether or not he was hurting me."

"Did you hear Oxygen and Magnesium are dating now? OMg !!!"

"What town should a ""mountain oyster"" festival be held in? Oxnard, CA"

"Craigslist is actually a great way to find stuff that's been murdered on"

"What is a doctor's most important quality? Patience!"

"How do you know if someone's from Texas? Don't worry, they'll tell you."

"A blind prostitute is giving a guy a handjob... ...And she says ""Wow this is the biggest dick I've ever been with!"" And the guy goes ""Nah, you're just pulling my leg."""