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Joke of the Day

"Hello, I'm a bird, I survived since dinosaurs roamed the earth but windows are too much for me to figure out."

"I tried the come-hither sign with my fingers when I was inside a girl... But she moved her face away and said, ""Are you really a dentist?"""

"I'm glad the unbelievably loud teenagers on this flight are all white so I can hate them."

"I like my women like I like my isotopes. Stable."

"I vote for less election coverage"

"What's the favorite dairy product of Wall Street executives? 1% milk"

"What is the difference between arguing with a knife and arguing with your girlfriend? The knife has a point."

"Today I went to the convenience store to pick up some condoms. When I walked to the register with the condoms the clerk asked ""Would you like a bag?"" I replied ""No, she's not that ugly"""

"Bill Cosby used to be my rolemodel... Until i found out he was a comedian."

"I flip off the rollercoaster camera, then buy a mug with the picture on it, ride it again, flip off the camera again while sipping my mug"