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Joke of the Day

"I'm glad the unbelievably loud teenagers on this flight are all white so I can hate them."

"I met my wife in an African Languages class. We just clicked."

"I've decided to run a marathon for charity. I didn't want to do it at first but apparently it's for blind and disabled kids so I think I've got a good chance of winning"

"Spilling a beer... ...is the adult equivalent to losing a balloon."

"(Request) My uncle is trying to remember a Sarah Palin joke about her having a kid with down syndrome. Comment them here and I'll pass em along. Thanks a bunch :)"

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, but I have no idea how they get in there."

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russell"

"How Many Feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to hold the ladder and ensure the safety of the second feminist who will unscrew the old lightbulb and replace it with a new one."

"I'll never get a dog, but if I had to I'd the kind that doesn't have its butthole displayed too prominently."

"Ever look in the fridge and be disappointed that all there is for supper is leftover pizza and beer? Yeah, me neither..."