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Joke of the Day

"Today I went to the convenience store to pick up some condoms. When I walked to the register with the condoms the clerk asked ""Would you like a bag?"" I replied ""No, she's not that ugly"""

"Two married man talking.. 1st man: Im so lucky, my wife is an angel. 2nd man: Good for you! Mine's still alive."

"When does 1+1=3? When you don't use a condom."

"What do you say to someone with a bladder problem? Urine trouble."

"Patient: ""It must be tough spending all day with your hands in someone's mouth."" Dentist: ""I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet."""

"After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for almost 10 years. But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it."

"I recently sold my vacuum It just sucked"

"Best Knock Knock joke Knock Knock. Who's there? Dunup. Dunup who?"

"Mom: I HEARD UR SICK Me: just a cold Mom: U HAVE THE ZIKA M: no I- Mom: OH GOD IT'S ZIKA M: mom- Mom: I TRIED TO RAISE U RIGHT M: wait, what"

"Your smell is so intoxicating Your skin so soft and warm I can't wait to eat you up ~Mosquitos"