171325

Joke of the Day

"Why cant programmers tell the difference between christmas and thanksgiving? Because oct 31 = dec 25"

"Thank you to whoever has been keeping Keanu Reeves busy with a laser pointer for the last 10 years."

"has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life"

"A little boy and a little girl are in the bathtub together. The little girl looks down at the boy and asks, ""Can I touch it?"" He answers, ""No way -- you already broke yours off!"""

"If you ever feel like a complete moron never forget that I managed to text my wife today that she forgot her mobile at home. You're welcome."

"""Lord of the Rings"" seems like kind of a racist book. It doesn't even have a Tolkien black guy."

"how wide is the universe? how long is a piece of string theory"

"It's called Wal-Mart because the Center for Disease Control was taken."

"What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Philippe Philoppe."

"What do you call a Mexican Girl with no legs? *cunts*-*way*-*low*"