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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the gym employee that got fired? He didn't work out."
Next Joke
"Micky and Minnie Mouse get Divorced The Lawyers says to Micky: ""so you're getting a divorce because Minnie's crazy you say?"" Micky replies frustrated:""No she's not crazy she's fucking goofy!"""
"Just told a couple disbelieving millennials about how we used to have to poop without cell phones."
"I don't know why, but there were a lot of really disappointed convict's in my first class of Gen. Chem..."
"If you're happy and you know it, share your meds"
"Interviewer: Tell me about your future plans. Me: You mean, like, just tomorrow, or for, like, the whole weekend?"
"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? None. The light bulb has to do the changing."
"If Elon Musk ran for president, what would his subreddit be called? /r/futurology"
"What do you call a Spanish baker? A con-quiche-ador"
"What did the Triangle say to the Circle? ""Your life is pointless."""