58518

Joke of the Day

"""Wish You Were Beer!"" Wait...no...that's right...send."

"[phone rings] ""Mr Hughes?"" ""Yeah."" ""We need u to come pick yr son up from school."" ""Ugh. Whats he done now?"" ""Nothing. Its nearly midnight."""

"June is over? Julying."

"Why are white people racist against black people? Cause they have smaller PPs lol"

"I'd kill for Opie's pizza. Unfortunately, they never deliver. :("

"How Many Martians Does It Take to Screw In a Lightbulb? At least two, but they have to be pretty small to fit."

"As a German, you know what really grinds my gears? Nothing. Our engineering is perfect."

"How do you know that Beyonce is a hardcore programmer? VB ALL NIGHT!!!!!"

"""Every cloud has a silver lining."" - Terribly inaccurate meteorologist"

"I just saw a guy with such a big dick he could fuck himself... And all I could think was how he was so full of himself."