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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: Tell me about your future plans. Me: You mean, like, just tomorrow, or for, like, the whole weekend?"

"I'm not afraid of spiders. I'm afraid of people who are afraid of spiders. Please stop screaming and put down the hammer."

"My ultra-cheesy pick up line, based on old Pepe Le Pew cartoons Le meooooww.... Le Purrrrrrrr... Le me?"

"I wonder if Radio Shack ever thinks about changing the name, you know now that it's 2011 and all."

"When I die, PLEASE don't bury me in a fancy suit. That happened to a guy I knew and it turned him into a skeleton."

"What kind of floor do dinosaurs' bathrooms have? Rep-tiles."

"What happened when porky pig fell asleep at his construction job? The foreman fired him, saying, 'We can't have bored boars boring boards.'"

"Why did the duck leave the dancefloor? He didn't want to get down on it."

"I want to put hot dogs on my fingers so I have extra long, floppy, hot dog fingers."

"Why do french tanks have rear mirrors? So they can also see the front lines."