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Joke of the Day

"The bartender says ""I'm sorry, we don't serve faster-than-light particles here."" A tachyon walks into a bar."

"I had sex with two indians last night... it was in tents! (intense)"

"My friend was trying to annoy me with bird puns Well, toucan play at that game"

"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he got asked to play in a film about classic composers? I'll be Bach."

"If you get robot arms don't get the cheap ones [starts clapping for no reason]"

"I used to be addicted to soap But I'm clean now."

"What kind of food can't blind people eat? Seafood."

"Why is women's soccer so boring? Because all the good female athletes play in men's leagues. Thank you, thank you."

"Why didn't the pony speak? Because he was a little hoarse...."

"What's the difference between Marcus Mariota and Floyd Mayweather? Best Duck Ever."