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Joke of the Day
"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye, matey!"
Next Joke
"The discharge paperwork at the hospital seems to be expedited a little quicker if you roam up and down the hall with the back of your hospital gown untied."
"Secret agents asking citizens to please speak more clearly in all phone calls. Also, cut the chitchat and get to the good stuff, they ask."
"""Stop calling me your roommate. I'm your husband and the father of your children."" -My Roommate"
"Well well well. If it isn't old Saint Nick trying to slide down this chimney after ignoring my texts for a year."
"I Remember The Guy Who Made Me Smile For The Rest Of My Life He's the reason why I don't do plastic surgery anymore."
"I think i'm going to be famous! I met Jimmy Savile when I was young and I think he rubbed off on me!"
"Why wasn't meek mills phone working? Because it wasn't ""charged up"""
"Every store should have one line for people who have their shit together."
"Got Christmas card glitter all over me and now I can't stop stripping."