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Joke of the Day

"I wonder what TSA would do if I brought a block of ice through airport security. My physics teacher said it's not a liquid."

"Just sewed together 3 bras to put on my neighbor's dog to cover its horrifying tits."

"Have you noticed that jokes starting with have you noticed' are usually shit!"

"Q: Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath? A: She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue."

"I like my woman like my espresso; Bitter, exhilarating, and some sort of Italian I guess."

"Why ebola medicine doesn't work in Africa? Because it can't be taken on empty stomach"

"How do you make a blind moan? Kick him in the balls"

"What do you call a Chinese Billionaire? Cha Ching."

"(Watching Liar Liar) Wife: If you couldn't lie for 24 hrs, how much longer would we be married? Me: Until the end of this movie."

"I've used my wife's conditioner even though she told me more than once not to. Because I'm a rebel. A rebel with coconut dream hair."