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Joke of the Day

"I think some drugs should be legalized... but cocaine is where I draw the line."

"What did the peanut say to his wife before he left? I'll be back in a jiffy"

"What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek ? Fowl play !"

"When you get to Customs and they ask if you have anything to declare, ""Thumb War"" is not the answer they were looking for."

"What is a homophobe's favorite fruit? Cant-elope."

"Sorry Amanda. There will be no second date. First off, the plural of shrimp IS shrimp. Not shrimps. Also it's pronounced sammon, not sallman"

"They should have an Academy Award for ""Most Acting."""

"""Your resume says weaknesses: hide & seek"" Yeah ""Can you demonstrate?"" Sure, count to 10 *Counts to 10 & opens eyes* *I'm literally on fire*"

"What goes ""Vroom!..screech..Vroom!..screech""? A blonde at a flashing red light."

"This bicyclist in front of me sure dresses like he could be pedaling faster."