170302

Joke of the Day

"Spain's king, Juan Carlos, has stepped down from the throne to make way for his son, who is more popular. Which, by the way, would be the worst ""Game of Thrones"" episode ever."

"Ever heard of a Freudian slip? It's when you say one thing but mean your mother."

"57% of serial killers were bed wetters until an unusually advanced age. Let's make fun of them! What's the worst that could hap..never mind."

"Reporter: Doctor, what motivates you to care for coma patients? Me: Well, I'm just here *puts cap on Sharpie* to put smiles on their faces"

"I like my women like I like my wine... 12 years old and locked in a cellar"

"Why did the Native American curse the snow? Because it was white and on his land!"

"What doesn't kill you just makes you injured and really pissed off."

"What's black and white and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear through her head."

"Breaking News! President Putin have decided to restore Crimea territory to Ukraine. But President Poroshenko was so drunk and just declined the offer."

"So, I'm painting a big blue rectangle in my backyard. So Google Earth will think that I have a pool :/"