170205
Joke of the Day
"I'm trying, but all the Liam Neeson jokes are taken."
Next Joke
"Why does the Hound of the Baskervilles turn round and round before he lies down for the night? Because he's the watchdog and he has to wind himself up."
"Why do Native Americans make good strippers? No matter where they are, they'll always make it rain when they dance."
"Sometimes all I'm really doing with my life is just trying to make it from one weekend to the next."
"Why did the baker have brown hands? Because he kneaded a poo. Better if you say this aloud."
"I ordered a bowl of spaghetti and found a linguine noodle at the bottom he was an impasta"
"I like my women like I like my rice.... ....Hot, white, and lifeless."
"Why did the German watchmaker say to the watch that kept saying ""Tick, tick, tick, tick,...""? ""Ve haff vays of meking you tock."""
"3 guys walked into a bar but one ducked"
"My Girlfriend is always covered in bruises because she doesn't listen.. I'm always like ""You're about to run into that lamp!"""