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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes all I'm really doing with my life is just trying to make it from one weekend to the next."

"Why did Hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi"

"I met my wife in Tinder. It was awkward. I didn't know she used it, too."

"Why didn't the hipster have HIV? He fucked Charlie Sheen before he was cool."

"Why is Rob Zombie good for the health of Redditors? They see his AMA and turn off the computer."

"I kidnapped this girl last night... And she yelled ""Please, I don't want to die a virgin!"". If that isn't consent, I don't know what is."

"Who was the most well rounded knight at King Arthur's round table? Circumference"

"My grandfather is such a grammar Nazi that he made every Jew in the camp practice writing every day."

"I have a particular set of skills, skills that allow me to open beer cans so no one in the house knows I'm drinking."

"What's the difference between batman and a black person? Batman can go to the store without robin'"