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Joke of the Day

"Why does the Hound of the Baskervilles turn round and round before he lies down for the night? Because he's the watchdog and he has to wind himself up."

"Hello, police, I have a burglar trapped in my home gym. Please hurry. The longer he's in there the more powerful he'll become."

"Women are kinda like engines. You gotta show them a little TLC to get all your money's worth out of them, and every now you have to choke them to get them to turnover."

"Why do native Americans make the best strippers? Because when they dance, they make it rain"

"Is chicken soup good for your health ? Not if you're the chicken !"

"Everyone have a Good Friday! ...I'll show myself out"

"What's the longest sentence in the English language? I do."

"A man comes home... ... To his wife repotting cactuses and succulents ""Allo Vera"""

"I was the best fisherman in town. (nsfw) They called me the master baiter. I could also catch many rare fish, and they also called me a pretty good hooker."

"Saying ""guns don't kill people, bullets do"" is like saying ""I haven't raped anyone, but my dick has."""