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Joke of the Day

"Little boy has diarrhea and tells his mom he needs viagra Mom replies "" What the hell for?"" Boy replies ""Isn't that what you give dad when his shit doesn't get hard?"""

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"How many seasons are there in a dogs life ? Just one the moulting season !"
"What do you call a group of senior Japanese comedians? Comic Sans"
"I keep my friends close *lean in, whisper* and my anemones closer ""Sir thats very fun but aquarium policy forbids sitting in the touch tank"""
"Salad is the decaf of food."
"What do sex, Mexican food, and pizza have in common? They're all easy to do decent but hard to do great."
"OK then - how 'bout this Roof joke? What's the new term for ""almost completely racist""? 180 Roof"
"Eat Chipotle with your hands? Fine. Eat stuff that falls out of it with your hands? Get stared at you like you smeared shit on someone's kid"
"In N Out Describes my visit to the Vatican City"
"No, you can't sit there I'm saving that seat in case someone hotter than you comes along."