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Joke of the Day

"What do sex, Mexican food, and pizza have in common? They're all easy to do decent but hard to do great."

"Some people have hauntingly good looks. Not you though, you're just really scary looking."

"People who think only God can judge them have obviously never met my mother-in-law."

"Shortest Joke I've Ever Heard; Dwarf shortage."

"What do you call a pachyderm that sings jazz? Elephants Gerald"

"The Holy Liar A: ""I dont trust in god."" B: ""You're an atheist? :o"" A: ""No, i think he's a liar."""

"two muffins were in an oven. one muffin turns to the other muffin and says ""its hot in here "" the second muffin turns to the first muffin and says "" holy shit a talking muffin"""

"Did you hear about the kidnapping in Delaware? Don't worry, he eventually woke up."

"What do you call a woman with an opinion?? Wrong"

"""Do you want to go out on a date?"" *sweats nervously* I C-CAN'T ""Why?"" *shoots friend next to him* I HAVE TO GO TO A FRIEND'S FUNERAL"