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Joke of the Day

"Eat Chipotle with your hands? Fine. Eat stuff that falls out of it with your hands? Get stared at you like you smeared shit on someone's kid"

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"My son wants to change his given Indian name, so I told Broken Condom he could change it if he really wants to. Kid's these days..."
"""Algebra."" really laid back oceanographer, responding to ""What's that green stuff?"""
"They only arrested Justin Bieber cause he's black."
"My Archimedes Heel is Greek references"
"News, just in: Truck Stolen! A lorry containing 150 pallets of Viagra was stolen last night. Police are searching the country for a gang of hardened criminals."
"Everyone calls me Al Capone Because"
"Friends with benefits who are bad at sex ...are hard to come by."
"What the Diffrence between Chinese and Mexican food? Chinese food comes out in about 15-20 minutes and Mexican food comes outta you in about 15-20 minutes."
"*at the gym* Trainor: Have a donut. Me: Wow! Sure! T: Here's some pizza. M: What kind of trainer are you? T: I'm a Megan Trainor."
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