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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is heavy, and the other is a little lighter."

"""I love you. I'd do anything for you."" -let me see your phone real quick ""You're smothering me. I need some space"""

"Why is a vagina similar to the weather? Because when it's wet, it's time to go insiiiiide!"

"You have no idea how hard it is to find a greeting card for your wife that says, ""I don't remember where I left the baby."""

"Why is there a rape culture? Bcos, to some men, the inability to rape, felt like rape."

"If 50 is the new 30, then Dead is the new 80."

"David Cameron Went to his local butcher. He asked the butcher for a steak. The butcher asked ""what is your favourite cut?"", David replied, ""the public sector""."

"I just lost 130 pounds of useless fat, that was sucking the life out of me I got a divorce"

"""Let's tell people about our waffle and then not do shit for 100 years."" -Belgium"

"what did the man say when he couldn't get frea with his dog? oops, forgot the ky"