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Joke of the Day

"And the Lord said unto John ""come forth and receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and got a toaster."

"My neighborhood is having a meeting tonight about the crazy naked lady and I'm the only one not invited. Weird."

"Teacher : Give me a sentence with the words defence defeat and detail in it. Pupil : When a horse jumps over defence defeat go before detail !"

"I had a couple dates and one of them sucked. So I stopped seeing the other one."

"I lost over 100 pounds in the last week. The casinos here in London have terrible odds."

"Do you believe in life after love? Ted Bundy apparently didn't."

"How did the inventor of the car advertise his new ""horse-less carriage""? He said it goes without a hitch!"

"Alpha male An alpha male walks into a pharmacy and asks for Beta blockers."

"My black friend asked me... My black friend asked me if there was a colored printer in the library. I said ""What the fuck man it's, 2016, you can use whatever printer you want""."

"We may not be able to call black people the N-word But we can say things like ""hey dad"" and ""have a nice day officer."""