180214

Joke of the Day

"Do you believe in life after love? Ted Bundy apparently didn't."

"Did you hear about the village idiot buying bird seed? He said he wanted to grow some birds."

"If the opposite of ""pro"" is ""con""... What's the opposite of progress?"

"Kinda creepy that Noah could tell the difference between the male and female versions of EVERYTHING"

"How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to sell oranges by the side of the highway."

"What kind of weather puts a smile on snoop dogg' face? Drizzle.. my nizzle"

"He approaches me from behind and wraps his arms around me and I am breathless. With one firm and quick thrust, he dislodges my food."

"What's the difference between my wife and a dead baby? I didn't kill the baby for not shutting the fuck up."

"*drops mic* *drops mic* *drops mic* *drops mic* *drops mic* *drops mic* *drops mic* *drops mic* Octopus after owning some1 in a rap battle"

"I got fired from the health spa. A psychic came in and asked for a back rub. I gave him one, but then I got in trouble for massage-a-mystic behavior."