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Joke of the Day

"My neighborhood is having a meeting tonight about the crazy naked lady and I'm the only one not invited. Weird."

"I'm a perfectionist when it comes to being imperfect."

"What did one white cop say to another white cop? Another black man bites the dust."

"32 is taking me to dinner, 29 is taking me to a concert, & 26 is taking me straight to bed. I don't have kids, did I do that right?"

"Pretty good one liner ___________."

"i never understood why we had to blow on the nintendo cartridge before eating it"

"The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence."

"It really doesn't matter what the tattoo across your collar bone says. All I see is ""My Dad Never Went To My Little League Games Sober."""

"Why did the shell not go to the beach? Because he was self-CONCH-ious."

"Wished my wife a 'Happy Valentine's ay!' I'll give her the D later."