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Joke of the Day

"Why do melons tend to have large weddings? They cantaloupe"

"My favorite sexual position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car."

"Hillary Clinton and Nickelback are on a boat and it capsizes, who survives? America"

"Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs? Right Where You Left Him."

"I cropped my kids out of my online dating profile photos. They can find their own dates."

"""It's a boy!"" I shouted, tears rolling down my face. ""I don't believe it. A boy!"" It was at that moment I decided I'd never visit Thailand again."

"Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine? It was soda pressing."

"I've decided to get help with my drug habit. I've managed to convince some friends to give me bulk discounts."

"Before firemen rescue cats from trees they always take a photo and that's where 'hang in there, baby!' posters come from."

"Hair in bun=housework Hair in ponytail=oral sex Body language is important-So he doesn't get excited when I'm about to 2 scrub the toilet"